Barrière enfantine and Food Poisoning
by Snowdrop Pax
Summary: Fluff, Crack, and Yaoi. FrUk. England Cooks and France eats it because he loves him. Oneshot really short


**So, before the story, I wanna say, yes, I have seen the Ask FrUk post on this same thing, but I was the Anon that requested that, so the idea and plot are originally mine.**

"Bonjour, Angleterre!" France said, holding out a bouquet of roses for his love

"Hello, France. I made lunch for us!" England said happily, placing the flowers in a vase on a table.

"L-lunch?" France asked nervously, "ow...kind.."

"Mhm! I'm making sandwiches!"

France sighed in relief, he could not possibly mess up sandwiches, "That sounds lovely, Mon Lapin," France observed the Toasted orange and...green sandwich on his plate, "Erm..What is it?"

"Cheese, Relish and Onion! It's very popular here!" England replied excitedly, taking a huge bite out of the monstrosity

France took a bite of his own, a lone tear falling down his cheek, silently praying to God that he wouldn't die or go to the hospital for eating this, taking a small bite, and forcing himself to swallow

"So...What do you think?" England asked, leaning forward in anticipation

France bit his lip. He could tell the truth, that he hated it, or he could lie, or he could sugar coat it, "Oh, I 'ove thingz zhat taste like Barrière enfantine..." He smiled, more tears running down his cheeks

England furrowed his brows, confused as to what that meant, before smiling, "See I told you that you would like my food if you just tried it! Oh I have the best recipe for a shepherd's pie! Or maybe a roast! I'll cook dinner next time you come over!" England spoke excitedly, hugging France tightly, jumping up and down slightly

"...Can't...Wait..." France smiled, in the midst of crying a river, and planning his will.

* * *

France sighed, glad that dinner was over, England had been cooking the last few times he had been over, and to be a good boyfriend, he choked down _every. last. bit._ He had naturally, tried to avoid coming over to England's, but if he stayed away too long, his amour would give him _the_ eyes, and he couldn't resist. Tonight's dinner was roast pork, which was severely burnt, but he ate it nonetheless. France would have put a stop to this long ago, but the excitement His Lapin got when he cooked for others was something he loved to see, so he let him cook what he pleased, even if he mangled French cuisine. Thankfully, they were now relaxing in front of the T.V. Or they were, until France started coughing so uncontrollably he fell off the couch onto his knees.

"France? Are you okay?" England asked worriedly, kneeling by him, patting him on the back

France waved him off, controlling himself, and pulling his hand from his face. England pulled back, shocked.

"F-France, I think we need to go to a doctor..." England stammered. France looked confused, until he glanced down at his hand, there was blood, and lots of it. He had been coughing up blood.

France shakily nodded, "O-Oui, I think that is best."

* * *

France had been diagnosed with a bad case of food poising, and digestion issues, and had to have his stomach pumped, and stayed in the hospital for a week.

"I can't believe it!" England ranted, sitting by France's bedside, "Food poisoning...it must of been that bloody oven!"

"Oui, the oven..." France muttered, resisting the urge to roll his eyes

"Well, I can't well just get a new oven...I guess you'll go back to being the only cook in this relationship then." England sighed, "A shame.."

"Oui...A tragedy.."

* * *

 **Translations**

 **Oui: Yes**

 **Lapin: Rabbit**

 **Barrière enfantine: Child Barf**

 **Angleterre: England**

 **Also, as a side note, the sandwich was an actual sandwich in England XD**

 **Please review! Reviews inspire me to write more! Even if it is just to say you liked it, it was okay, you thought it was ooc, or you would've prefered a different ship!**

 **Also, if you do review, please tell me what you thought about my french accent. Tell me what i should add or take away!**


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